Every human being needs air, water, food, shelter and sleep to survive. Every human being also has a list of wants. Sometimes they classify them as needs. Some are simple, people want to be happy, to be loved, to surround themselves with good people. Some want things like money, important sounding job titles, to look a certain way, to dress a certain way. The list is endless. Like everyone else, my wants have changed over time. I used to want the big titles and the money. I’m so glad that I made the decision to change all of that. Now, my wants circulate more around time enjoying life. I work to live, I no longer live to work.
When I started doing triathlon, I wanted a few things. I wanted to put myself out of my comfort zone. I wanted to embrace my fears and eventually overcome them. I mean, I picked a sport that consists of three: Swimming, which I suck at and was terrified of for the longest time. Cycling, which scares me only slightly less than swimming. And running, which I used to loathe, but now love, so I am good there. In case you didn’t keep track, that’s 2/3 I struggle with. Another thing I wanted, was to get healthier and lose weight. I wanted to feel fit and strong.
I knew that to get healthier, I needed to eat better. I used to eat McDonald’s for lunch several days a week and it would not have been unheard of to have it for dinner too. I used to not care what went in my face as long as it tasted good and was quick and easy. I’ve done well changing that for the most part, but it’s something I still struggle with. I do want to slim down more. I would love to see abs one day, but lately I have been somewhat complacent. You see, I feel so much better than I used to. I am sure that can even be better, but when I compare that to the trade-off, I am not sure it’s worth it. Therein lies the problem. I am, well, satisfied. If I were to be honest with myself, I would love to lose that last bit of chub around the old mid section. I’d love to one day feel like I wasn’t two pounds of jelly in a one pound bag in my tri-suit…. But the thing is, I apparently don’t want it bad enough. If I did, I would do more, I would do better. I don’t want that more than I want the sweet taste of a chocolate ice cream cone from DQ. I don’t want it more than zesty wings and amazing fries on Thursday nights. I just don’t, and that’s ok. For now. I hope one day I want it badly enough to put in the hard work and sacrifice it takes to really get my body to the next level. Until then, I just have to suck it up, buttercup…. Or better yet, suck it in, I guess!
What I do want bad enough, is to be a better triathlete. For that, I am ready to put in the hard work. (Yes, part of me hopes that hard work ends up pushing that other “better bod” goal along too. Is that asking too much?) I have gotten accustomed to waking up at 4:30 every morning and am slowing building up my workout time each day. I start a new training plan in about a week and I can’t wait. I’ve been hitting the pool more regularly, which is something I used to be horrible at and I plan to eventually join the group swim. I am still hesitant to believe that I can really become good at the swim, or even comfortable with it, but I will do my best.
The bike is the one thing that I really know I can improve on. My biggest obstacle there has been fear, especially since that one bad wreck. I did pretty well on the group ride, which was great but it really reminded me that I need to be out on the road more. I think I may have jumped from having not ridden in years, to clipped in to a road bike, a little too soon. I decided to take it down a notch and start riding a standard commuter bike out on the streets. I still work the road bike on the trainer and will join as many group rides as I can. In the meantime, I plan to run errands, work on handling in general, and ride more in the rain with the commuter. This will be my stepping stone. Once I build a comfort level that I can translate to the road bike, it will be smooth sailing. I hope. Maybe one day, I will even shoot for a flying mount! Ok, I need to slow my roll on that one.
When it comes to the run, I am pretty happy with where I am. I still have mega room for improvement, but at least I have seen progress there. It’s what I enjoy the most and I know I won’t let that go. My focus for running will be maintaining while I focus on the other two.
The other thing that I want, and maybe even need, is to be around more like-minded people. As much as I would like to, I can’t convince existing friends and family to get into triathlon. Nor do I think they would enjoy it much. This is that challenge I didn’t even know I wanted for myself. This is the extra bonus item I have gained along the way. Putting myself out of a totally different type of comfort zone, has brought me the opportunity to relate to people who love this sport as much as, or more than I do. It has given me the opportunity to fill my days with new energy and encouragement. I always tell my son not to confuse wants with needs. Not to make himself think he needs things that he can surely survive without, but I will admit there are some things above those five survival items. For me, I need all of this. Not in the sense of life or death, but in the sense that it brings me joy…..and what is life without happiness?