I decided I am going for it!  I have registered for the Turkey Triathlon.  I’m excited and admittedly a little scared.  I really had no expectations for the first triathlon.  I had no idea what it would be like.  I told myself over and over again that the goal was simply to finish, and I was not worried about how long it took to do it.  Things are different now.  I have numbers swirling through my head and the competitive side of me wants to best those numbers.

The biggest number I want to improve is my swim.  I’m not talking about the time it took, I am talking about the amount of time I spent swimming on my back.  I spent about 80% of my swim on my back the last time.  I don’t expect to take that down to zero this time around, I just haven’t put in enough work for that.  My goal for this swim is to get that down to maybe 50%.  I know it is still a lot of the way on my back, but I want to be realistic.  I’m not working as hard as I should be and I know that, I am just not sure why.

Last Sunday, I took an all day swim seminar.  It was amazing.  For starters, I was out of my comfort zone, which is always good.  There were three students, I was the only female, and two instructors.  It was very weird for me, yet they made us all feel very comfortable.  I am not a big fan of being touched by people I don’t really know, but having someone adjust my position while in the water was extremely helpful in making sure I was getting things right.  The slightest movement of my hand up or down made all the difference in the world.  It was a very enlightening experience and I gained a new perspective on swimming.  They filmed us from several angles at three different points in the day.  To see what a wreck I was in the first video and the progress I made in just a day, was remarkable.  Can I now swim 400 yards with no issue?  No, but I feel a lot more confident that I will get there.

The only negative is that I was completely exhausted not long after we finished up.  I think being in the sun for so many hours and not eating enough really did me in.  I went straight from the class to standing in the fading sun for D2’s last evening kids run.  I was absolutely starving before it even started.  Two hours later we finally went to eat dinner.  I was completely drained after that and crashed hard once I got home and showered.  I woke up with a minor head cold the next morning, which I still feel the remnants of.  I had planned to do drills in my pool Tuesday while the boys were at scouts, but things didn’t work out that way.  I got ready, but while cleaning the pool to get rid of the beetles, I got the chills.  I tried to brush it off and started in to swim, but soon I was covered in goosebumps and my teeth were chattering.  The little voice in my head said I was being an idiot and was going to get more sick if I continued on this path, so I got out and took a hot shower instead.

I still feel like I have this disconnect with swimming that I can’t quite put  my finger on.  I feel like, if I had a lap pool at home, I would be in it all the time.  Part of me knows I cannot do what I want in my own pool so I drill, but part of me also knows that I don’t necessarily want to be at the Sunrise pool either.  I don’t know what it is, but I just have not found that joy for swimming yet.  Sure, I have my days where I don’t look forward to any of this training, but most days, I look forward to a run, bike or weight session.  I even look forward to swimming, but then in that moment where it is time to actually do it, I back out.  Maybe it’s the fear, maybe it’s knowing that it just does not come as easily for me… I don’t know.

One way or another, I am going to have to figure it out, or stop doing triathlons and I think I am too stubborn for that.  I have already set my goals for next year.  After the Turkey Tri, I only have 5ks slated for the rest of the year, mostly fun stuff with the family, but I will still be training because I am going for an Olympic distance tri around March.  That’s double the size of what I have done.  Then, I have some longer run events like the Excalibur 10 mile run and Star Wars half marathon in March and April.  There will be some more sprint triathlons of course, and next October, I plan to hear the words “You are an Ironman” when I cross the finish line after having worked hard and pushing my body 70.3 miles to get there.  I am getting better at positive thinking and visualization.  I know I can do it.  I can see myself crossing that finish line, its just a bit hazy of a vision on the swim part…..maybe it’s that nasty lake water!