Our days are full of decision-making.  Some small and easy to make immediately, others more complicated and requiring much more time and thought.  Some scholars believe that eliminating many of the mundane useless decisions, make a person perform that much better when a bigger decision arises.  That’s one of the reason some finals like Steve Jobs wore the same thing all the time.  No deciding what to wear if your closet is full of jeans and black turtlenecks.  It might seem boring to some but creates an effortless morning when getting ready.  I love that concept.  As long as I look professional, I really don’t care what I wear to work anymore.  If I could opt in to a uniform policy I would in a heartbeat.

Sometimes, when faced with a tough decision, procrastination becomes the short answer.  I’m the queen of procrastination!  I often turn to research to justify it.  Did you know that if you search hard enough you can find studies or highly educated views for both sides of an argument?  Trust me, you can!  Want to know if eggs are good for you?  You’ll find hundreds say they are and just as many say they aren’t.  That’s what makes procrastination so easy.  I can spend hours reading one side of the argument and just when I’ve decided that’s the right side to be on, I read something for the other side that is just as compelling.  Once I’ve exhausted myself with research and the views of others, I sometimes turn to a pros and cons list.  Those can be awesome if you are honest enough when making the list.  Sometimes there’s a clear winning side, other times the pros and cons are even which really doesn’t help in decision-making.

I’m struggling right now with making a decision.  It’s not really a life shattering decision.  There are so many more things out there that people have to decide on that make this seem simple, but for me it’s huge.  I’m trying to decide if I am going to hire a coach to help me in my triathlon training.  You might be wondering what exactly a coach does.  The coach will create a custom training plan based on my goals and abilities in all three sports.  The coach will provide feedback on my performance in training.  They will also provide motivation, hold me accountable and hopefully help me take my training to the next level.  I did all my research and made my pros and cons list, and I am still struggling.  The funny thing is, the research clearly showed that going with a coach would be beneficial.  The pros far outweighed the cons.  So, why am I still undecided?  I’m not 100%sure.

Maybe cost?  While money is a factor from the standpoint of it being a commitment, I can afford it and the coach I am considering is very reasonable.  Guess I’ve just officially eliminated the cost factor.  Maybe the location of the coach? The coach I’m considering is out of state, but coaches work with people all over the world.  Based on my research, local coaching doesn’t get me anything more than remote coaching.  The most I would get is maybe the coach attending the same event and proving some support at the race, but I kind of have that through the FLT club.  Most coaches, even local ones, have limits to communication each week.  The coach I am considering does not, he’s open to all communication.  Guess location’s out as a reason for procrastinating.

Is it me? (Hits nail on head.)  I have doubts in my abilities.  I question if this is something I should even bother with.  Is it pretentious of me?  Why do a I need or want a coach?  Do I expect to become a pro athlete or get on the podium?  No.  Why not just keep trucking along?  I am improving in most areas.  I should just be happy with that.  Does having a coach mean I am making this more than a hobby I love?  Is that bad?  These are the questions swirling around in my head.  Then I come to the thoughts of what having a coach hold me accountable means.  I’m already pushing myself way harder in swimming than I ever had.  Why? Well, because someone’s watching.  Someone is there to tell me that I absolutely can, even if I feel like I can’t.  I don’t get to just quit when the going gets tough.  It sucks while it’s happening but I feel all the better after I push through.  I know I need that on the swim, but do I want or even need that on the bike and run?  I feel like I already push myself in those areas, but do I have untapped potential?  It’s one thing for family and friends to tell you that you are capable of something.  It’s a whole other thing for a professional to tell you the same.  In that respect, will I be completely disappointed?  Will I be told I should just throw in the towel and find a new sport?  What happens if I spend the money and don’t get any better?  At least right now I can claim being self-taught!  Oh look who it is everyone!  It’s my dear old friend fear again!  I guess that’s what it boils down to.  I’m afraid of paying someone to tell me that I’m not good enough.  I’m afraid that people will think I’m taking myself too seriously in this sport.  I used to pay for a Jiu Jitsu coach.  Why is that different?  I don’t know all there is to know about Jiu Jitsu.  I know how to run and ride a bike (swimming not so much which is why I pay for that help now).  Is there really so much I can learn?  So, I continue to struggle with coming to a decision.  Writing this post has helped me identify exactly what the cause of my hesitation is.  Now it’s just a matter of figuring out how to get past that.