Triathlon

Triathlon

Decisions, Decisions…

Our days are full of decision-making.  Some small and easy to make immediately, others more complicated and requiring much more time and thought.  Some scholars believe that eliminating many of the mundane useless decisions, make a person perform that much better when a bigger decision arises.  That’s one of the reason some finals like Steve Jobs wore the same thing all the time.  No deciding what to wear if your closet is full of jeans and black turtlenecks.  It might seem boring to some but creates an effortless morning when getting ready.  I love that concept.  As long as I look professional, I really don’t care what I wear to work anymore.  If I could opt in to a uniform policy I would in a heartbeat.

Sometimes, when faced with a tough decision, procrastination becomes the short answer.  I’m the queen of procrastination!  I often turn to research to justify it.  Did you know that if you search hard enough you can find studies or highly educated views for both sides of an argument?  Trust me, you can!  Want to know if eggs are good for you?  You’ll find hundreds say they are and just as many say they aren’t.  That’s what makes procrastination so easy.  I can spend hours reading one side of the argument and just when I’ve decided that’s the right side to be on, I read something for the other side that is just as compelling.  Once I’ve exhausted myself with research and the views of others, I sometimes turn to a pros and cons list.  Those can be awesome if you are honest enough when making the list.  Sometimes there’s a clear winning side, other times the pros and cons are even which really doesn’t help in decision-making.

I’m struggling right now with making a decision.  It’s not really a life shattering decision.  There are so many more things out there that people have to decide on that make this seem simple, but for me it’s huge.  I’m trying to decide if I am going to hire a coach to help me in my triathlon training.  You might be wondering what exactly a coach does.  The coach will create a custom training plan based on my goals and abilities in all three sports.  The coach will provide feedback on my performance in training.  They will also provide motivation, hold me accountable and hopefully help me take my training to the next level.  I did all my research and made my pros and cons list, and I am still struggling.  The funny thing is, the research clearly showed that going with a coach would be beneficial.  The pros far outweighed the cons.  So, why am I still undecided?  I’m not 100%sure.

Maybe cost?  While money is a factor from the standpoint of it being a commitment, I can afford it and the coach I am considering is very reasonable.  Guess I’ve just officially eliminated the cost factor.  Maybe the location of the coach? The coach I’m considering is out of state, but coaches work with people all over the world.  Based on my research, local coaching doesn’t get me anything more than remote coaching.  The most I would get is maybe the coach attending the same event and proving some support at the race, but I kind of have that through the FLT club.  Most coaches, even local ones, have limits to communication each week.  The coach I am considering does not, he’s open to all communication.  Guess location’s out as a reason for procrastinating.

Is it me? (Hits nail on head.)  I have doubts in my abilities.  I question if this is something I should even bother with.  Is it pretentious of me?  Why do a I need or want a coach?  Do I expect to become a pro athlete or get on the podium?  No.  Why not just keep trucking along?  I am improving in most areas.  I should just be happy with that.  Does having a coach mean I am making this more than a hobby I love?  Is that bad?  These are the questions swirling around in my head.  Then I come to the thoughts of what having a coach hold me accountable means.  I’m already pushing myself way harder in swimming than I ever had.  Why? Well, because someone’s watching.  Someone is there to tell me that I absolutely can, even if I feel like I can’t.  I don’t get to just quit when the going gets tough.  It sucks while it’s happening but I feel all the better after I push through.  I know I need that on the swim, but do I want or even need that on the bike and run?  I feel like I already push myself in those areas, but do I have untapped potential?  It’s one thing for family and friends to tell you that you are capable of something.  It’s a whole other thing for a professional to tell you the same.  In that respect, will I be completely disappointed?  Will I be told I should just throw in the towel and find a new sport?  What happens if I spend the money and don’t get any better?  At least right now I can claim being self-taught!  Oh look who it is everyone!  It’s my dear old friend fear again!  I guess that’s what it boils down to.  I’m afraid of paying someone to tell me that I’m not good enough.  I’m afraid that people will think I’m taking myself too seriously in this sport.  I used to pay for a Jiu Jitsu coach.  Why is that different?  I don’t know all there is to know about Jiu Jitsu.  I know how to run and ride a bike (swimming not so much which is why I pay for that help now).  Is there really so much I can learn?  So, I continue to struggle with coming to a decision.  Writing this post has helped me identify exactly what the cause of my hesitation is.  Now it’s just a matter of figuring out how to get past that.

Life, Triathlon

Wants, Needs and In Betweens

Every human being needs air, water, food, shelter and sleep to survive.  Every human being also has a list of wants.  Sometimes they classify them as needs.  Some are simple, people want to be happy, to be loved, to surround themselves with good people.  Some want things like money, important sounding job titles, to look a certain way, to dress a certain way.  The list is endless.  Like everyone else, my wants have changed over time.  I used to want the big titles and the money.  I’m so glad that I made the decision to change all of that.  Now, my wants circulate more around time enjoying life.  I work to live, I no longer live to work.

When I started doing triathlon, I wanted a few things.  I wanted to put myself out of my comfort zone.  I wanted to embrace my fears and eventually overcome them.  I mean, I picked a sport that consists of three: Swimming, which I suck at and was terrified of for the longest time.  Cycling, which scares me only slightly less than swimming.  And  running, which I used to loathe, but now love, so I am good there.  In case you didn’t keep track, that’s 2/3 I struggle with.  Another thing I wanted, was to get healthier and lose weight.  I wanted to feel fit and strong.

I knew that to get healthier, I needed to eat better.  I used to eat McDonald’s for lunch several days a week and it would not have been unheard of to have it for dinner too.  I used to not care what went in my face as long as it tasted good and was quick and easy.  I’ve done well changing that for the most part, but it’s something I still struggle with.  I do want to slim down more.  I would love to see abs one day, but lately I have been somewhat complacent.  You see, I feel so much better than I used to.  I am sure that can even be better, but when I compare that to the trade-off, I am not sure it’s worth it.  Therein lies the problem.  I am, well, satisfied.  If I were to be honest with  myself, I would love to lose that last bit of chub around the old mid section.  I’d love to one day feel like I wasn’t two pounds of jelly in a one pound bag in my tri-suit…. But the thing is, I apparently don’t want it bad enough.  If I did, I would do more, I would do better.  I don’t want that more than I want the sweet taste of a chocolate ice cream cone from DQ.  I don’t want it more than zesty wings and amazing fries on Thursday nights.  I just don’t, and that’s ok.  For now.  I hope one day I want it badly enough to put in the hard work and sacrifice it takes to really get my body to the next level.  Until then, I just have to suck it up, buttercup…. Or better yet, suck it in, I guess!

What I do want bad enough, is to be a better triathlete.  For that, I am ready to put in the hard work.  (Yes, part of me hopes that hard work ends up pushing that other “better bod” goal along too.  Is that asking too much?)  I have gotten accustomed to waking up at 4:30 every morning and am slowing building up my workout time each day.  I start a new training plan in about a week and I can’t wait.  I’ve been hitting the pool more regularly, which is something I used to be horrible at and I plan to eventually join the group swim.  I am still hesitant to believe that I can really become good at the swim, or even comfortable with it, but I will do my best.

The bike is the one thing that I really know I can improve on.  My biggest obstacle there has been fear, especially since that one bad wreck.  I did pretty well on the group ride, which was great but it really reminded me that I need to be out on the road more.  I think I may have jumped from having not ridden in years, to clipped in to a road bike, a little too soon.  I decided to take it down a notch and start riding a standard commuter bike out on the streets.  I still work the road bike on the trainer and will join as many group rides as I can.  In the meantime, I plan to run errands, work on handling in general, and ride more in the rain with the commuter.  This will be my stepping stone.  Once I build a comfort level that I can translate to the road bike, it will be smooth sailing.  I hope.  Maybe one day, I will even shoot for a flying mount!  Ok, I need to slow my roll on that one.

When it comes to the run, I am pretty happy with where I am.  I still have mega room for improvement, but at least I have seen progress there.  It’s what I enjoy  the most and I know I won’t let that go.  My focus for running will be maintaining while I focus on the other two.

The other thing that I want, and maybe even need, is to be around more like-minded people.  As much as I would like to, I can’t convince existing friends and family to get into triathlon.  Nor do I think they would enjoy it much.  This is that challenge I didn’t even know I wanted for myself.  This is the extra bonus item I have gained along the way.  Putting myself out of a totally different type of comfort zone, has brought me the opportunity to relate to people who love this sport as much as, or more than I do.  It has given me the opportunity to fill my days with new energy and encouragement.  I always tell my son not to confuse wants with needs.  Not to make himself think he needs things that he can surely survive without, but I will admit there are some things above those five survival items.  For me, I need  all of this.  Not in the sense of life or death, but in the sense that it brings me joy…..and what is life without happiness?