Swim, Triathlon

Swimming in Humble Pie

Camp Day 4

I did not sleep well and my inner demon was telling me to just stay in bed when the alarm went off.  I mean, it was just a swim in the lake again.  I was already there a few days ago.  Who would miss me?  What could coach possibly do if I just made some excuse and didn’t show up.  Ugh.  I didn’t come all this way and pay money to travel to bag out on the last day.  That was the recap of what was probably a 10 minute back and forth with myself.  I got up and got myself moving.   

I got to the parking lot where we meet and carpool into the park and Amy, the girl I picked up in the rain the day before, asked if she could ride in with me.  Of course I said yes and we headed in.  I was dreading this day.  I was not sure what coach had in store for me and panic was setting in before my toes even got wet.  He had me off to the side as he split the others up and prescribed what he wanted them to do.  Today is the day, I thought.  I either can get this right or I am done with this crap.  If he can’t fix this, then forget it.  He told me to go where I could stand and swim from one marker to the other.  I told him that was like 4 times the longest I had done properly.  He said I could stop and stand when I needed to, but to go as far as I could.  I surprised myself when I went half way before I could not properly catch my breath.  I kept trying over and over.  A couple times I was off course and very frustrated. 

Coach called me out of the water for a chat.  He asked me what was up.  Trying my best to hold back tears I said that I was just so frustrated because I know I am not going to drown.  I know there is no danger and I know that I should just keep the strokes going but my body gets to a certain point and just freaks out.  He told me that I was way too hard on myself.  He asked if I freaked out sooner or later than I used to.  I said later, way later. “Then be happy with your progress and stop being so damn hard on yourself for what’s left.”  Jerk.  He told me to go to the deep water, facing the far buoy that everyone else swims to and to swim towards it for just five strokes and then stop and turn around and look at him.  I went out and realized I was not sure if one arm was a stroke or both counted as a stroke so to be safe I counted both as a single stroke.  Knowing it was just kept me relaxed.  I turned around and he had me swim back to him.  He said that it was like 10 or more strokes and I explained what my logic was and he just laughed.  He said now I needed to head out into the deep until I couldn’t and freaked out.  I did and the entire time I was trying to keep calm.  I started to feel the build and told myself to just do three more, just do three more.  I finally couldn’t take it anymore and felt like I could not breath and popped up.  I realized that I was like half way to the far buoy!  That was awesome and terrifying at the same time.  I was super proud but a little freaked out about getting back.  I struggled a little more on the way back than on the way out but made it.  I did that again and got even farther.  When I got back to shore, an athlete that could not swim due to injury told me that when I was heading out there he asked coach how I was doing.  His response was “it kills me because she has great technique and is a really good swimmer!”  I am having a hard time with thinking that I really have good technique, though I have been told that a few times.  I still think he’s paying people to say these things and make him look good.  Part of me wishes I would have pushed even harder, but maybe I am being hard on myself again.  I really think I could have gotten there if I could wrap my brain around it.  The fact that I am even saying I think I could have is a big improvement I guess. 

Almost made it!

On the way out, a seasoned ironman named Dennis told me that it was really nice meeting me at camp and he was glad that I came.  I thanked him and said it was really nice meeting him as well.  He went on to tell me that he didn’t think I realized how much my being there impacted people.  Me?  I asked.  Yes!  He said that the fear was all over my face, and he watched time after time as I kept trying to get over it.  He said that he was inspired by my courage, and that he would never have had the courage when he was new to come to something like this.  He said many of them felt that way.  I thanked him again and held back tears as I thought about the fact that I could inspire someone that could do so many amazing things.  A second camper, a badass named Erin, said something similar to me and that she was proud of me.   It was very humbling, and a good reminder that everything is relative.  Here I was in awe of what they were doing out there and meanwhile they were inspired by what I was doing.  To have people that were strangers just days ago tell you how proud they are of you and how they believe in you feels amazing.   

Bike, Run, Triathlon

Falsies and Fun

Camp Day 3

We met at the same bike area in Natchez Trace at 6am.  We were assigned groups, and mine would be riding anywhere from 2.5 to 3 hours.  We were to go to a rest stop 12 miles away.  Once we got there, we would do hills for however much time we needed to kill to then make it back from the rest stop by our meetup time.  I didn’t really sleep well and wasn’t feeling so hot, but was trying to make the best of it.  I like group rides and this was the same concept.  We were to stay within sight of each other at all times.  It also didn’t hurt that my group had two of the campers that I really liked a lot. 

We headed out and while it was hilly, it was a lot cooler and the hills weren’t as steep.  The scenery was absolutely gorgeous!  There were some challenging parts, but overall the ride to the rest stop wasn’t bad.  In fact, there were some nice down hills that made things really awesome.  Awesome until I said that and then heard someone say “yeah, Robbie plans it that way so the hard stuff is on the way back when you are tired!”  Jerk.  I will say that day two on downhills was much better.  I got a little more daring and didn’t brake much at all.  Dare I say it was kind of fun at times?  We filled up our water bottles and took quick potty breaks but there wasn’t much of a “rest” at the rest stop.  We headed for the prescribed hills to begin round 1.   

These hills were a little tougher and there were a lot of what they apparently call “false flats.”  When you look at it, you swear it is flattening out, it does not look like an incline at all, but it’s an optical illusion the way the road is marked and the angle of the mounts all around you.  False flats are my least favorite thing.  At least with the other hills, you know it’s coming!  With these, you think you might be getting a reprieve but NO, they are still a hill!   

Stuart (the awesome high five guy from the other day) was the most experienced of the group.  He would go to the front, check on everyone and make his way to the back.  His wife Megan was also in our group.  We talked and talked about how we grew up, our jobs, our support systems, etc.  She is just as awesome as he is, so I was surrounded by great people during that ride.  People would refer to Stuart as a “big guy” and he was telling me that another person at camp told him that when she saw his photo on the site and knew if he could do triathlon she should be able to.  I told him that I thought that was kind of rude.  I learned very early on when I started running that you cannot ever judge a book by it’s cover.  I’ve seen super fit looking women passed by women that could be considered “fat.”  He told me he was SO glad she said that.  He said that is his goal.  He says he wants people to look at him and think that if he can do it, they can do it.  I reminded him of how awesome he was. 

The gang at the rest stop

We started to make our way back when we realized how ominous the sky was.  A light rain came, which felt good.  It wasn’t as hot as yesterday, but I also knew I had dry running clothes in the car so if I got wet at all it would not be for long.  That light rain gradually turned into a downpour!  It was a little scarier going downhill in the rain, but surprised myself and handled it pretty well.  It was raining so hard it actually hurt and made it hard to see.  As we were finally coming up to the meeting point, I saw that two of the girls in my group passed the closer entrance.  I thought to myself that they must care about the details and have to fully complete the circle by going back in where we left.  Overachievers.   

I got my bike and my body in the truck as fast as I can since it was still pouring down.  Coach had texted someone was saving seats for everyone at a local breakfast place so I started to head out.  About a mile and a half I see one of the girls from my group.  I rolled the window down and asked her if she parked in the further lot and she replied that she had not, she didn’t realize she passed the place we met!  I told her to toss her bike in the bed and jump in and I would bring her back up the hill to her car.  I grabbed the bags in my front seat, tossed them in the back and took her up to her car. 

I got to the breakfast place so looking forward to putting on my nice warm running clothes.  What I did not realize was that when I tossed my bags in the back to let her in, the ice water I had poured directly into my running shoes and bag.  So much for nice and warm.  I pulled the ice cubes out of my shoes and slipped them on.  Thankfully my running leggings and tank were not wet so at least that was nice.  I still had to have a wet sports bra (my current one because the running one had ice in it) and shoes soaked and cold.  I went in and ate a bagel breakfast sandwich.  I was so looking forward to this run, now not so much.  The last thing I wanted was wet feet, and blisters. 

We headed over to Percy Warner Park for our run.  It’s absolutely beautiful!  I took every precaution I could.  I got anti-chafe cream and put it all between my toes and all over my feet and put my socks on at the last minute.  I knew they would get wet from the shoes but I was trying to delay the inevitable as long as I could.  We were given our instructions, my group’s run was about an hour and a half.  We were warned not to go hard because the entire thing is hilly.  I just hoped for no false flats! 

I put my headphone in and got to work.  For me, when I run the first mile or so is a little rough, but then I warm up and feel like I do my best.  Today was no different.  At the start, and those hills, I was thinking that maybe this was going to be way harder than I imagined!  I mean, I love running.  I am not as good as I used to be, but I genuinely enjoy it.  I hoped things would get better.  We had to watch where we went because the ground was covered in twigs and slippery leaves due to storms that came through the day before, but I started to look around a little.  We were literally in the middle of winding forest around a mountain.  How often do I get to see mountains that aren’t made of landfill?  Never!  I saw a chipmunk running around and the sounds reminded me of camping.  I know I said it already but I will say it again, it was beautiful.  At some point things clicked in and I was just jamming.  Not really fast, but a nice steady pace given the terrain.  There were a couple points where it got super steep and I walked but only a short time.  I was ok with that, because I was not sure what would be just around the corner. 

When I came out of the woods and started to round the corner to where we were parked, the entire team was lined up and chanting my name.  I threw my arms up and fist pumped and headed into the home stretch.  I got high fives on both sides, assuming I was the last in.  To my surprise, I was not.  There were actually a few people still out there.  I hung with the team and lines up for high fives as they came in.  The last person was a kick butt girl who paced herself slowly because of the humidity.  It was very similar to yucky Florida days, so I don’t think it affected me as bad.  When she came out of the forest and had the home stretch left she was walking.  Someone said “should we bring her in?” I bolted out along with two other ladies who I know like her as much as I do and we got next to her, turned around and got her running again and into the high five line that awaited her.   

It was a long hard day and we had a team dinner scheduled for 5:30.  I headed back to the hotel and crammed two peanut butter jelly sandwiches in my face to hold me over.  I showered and tried to stretch a little before it was time to head to dinner.  Including any spouses that came to dinner, we had 33 people so we had a section of the restaurant but not a table together.  I sat with coach and a really cool couple that I had not gotten a chance to hang with much prior.  It was really comfortable conversation and we had a lot of laughs.  Much like Burger King, it may have been the hunger but the place we went to had the best baked potato I have ever had!  They somehow embed sea salt into the skin and I ate every bite of that thing.  I also had a rare sirloin and that hit the spot as well.  We followed things up with some chocolate cake and a few more laughs before heading back to my home away from home for the night.  Sadly two of my favorites would not be at the final swim the next day, so we said our goodbyes.  I got the biggest and warmest hug from Stuart, or Papa Smurf as I called him.  He made me promise that I would update him on my progress.  Even if it meant triathlon wasn’t for me, he and his Mrs. Megan genuinely wanted to know.  Maybe people don’t suck.  Ok, these people definitely don’t suck.