After my last swim debacle, I decided to go ahead and find a swim coach.  This is something that really puts me out of my comfort zone.  I really don’t know why, but it makes me uncomfortable.  If I am really honest with myself, I think I am scared.  I think I’m scared that I’ll be told to just give it up.  I think I’m scared of the thought that I can’t do it, or shouldn’t do it because I am too old, or not fit enough.

I made the call and met with a great lady by the name of Kristie.  I told her that when I swim, I feel like I start out great, and then the moment I try to breathe in, I get water with my air.  It freaks me out and then I have a hard time recovering.  For the first time, I told a total stranger that I was afraid.  I told her I was afraid that my fear would take over and I would not finish.  A crash, a flat, an injury even, would be ok reasons to not finish but the thought that my own mind would get in the way and cause me not to finish was terrifying.

We went to the end of the pool and she asked me do some bobs up and down just breathing out while under and in when I came up (obviously).   She told me to make sure I take it slow and breathe out with both my nose and mouth.  I had been breathing out of my nose the whole time, afraid if I didn’t let it all out there I would get water up my nose.  (I am also terrified I could contract a brain eating amoeba during the open water swim, but that is a story for another time.)  I finished the 5th bob and came up to discuss it with her.  She immediately told me that I got water up my nose on the 4th bob.  How did she know that?!  I immediately assumed she was made of magic.  She informed me that while I made the motion of coming up and breathing in, I did not actually take a breath.  Because of that, I had less air to let out and water went up my nose.

I tried again, this time she asked that I focus on going slower and making sure I did not let out all my air when I was under and to take a nice full breath when I was out of the water.  I did it again and it was like a light bulb went off.  I didn’t get any water and took full breaths.  She asked that I swim a bit so she could watch how I take my breaths while actually swimming.  I headed off and told myself not to worry about my form since I could get the most information from her on what to improve upon if I just did what came naturally.

After a couple strokes I went to take a breath and got water.  I tried to get it out but ended up having to stop.  “What did you do?” she asked.  I took a moment and knew exactly what I did wrong.  I let out all my air and then I went to take a breath I just opened my mouth and only water went in.  How could I not realize I was letting out all my air?  How could I not realize I was coming up for air and not really taking an in?  I felt so dumb but so happy all at once.  Knowing the issue leads to solving the issue and I was half way there.

Kristie suggested that I try to breath between fewer strokes and suggested I practice just finding a rhythm of my own.  I took her advice and successfully swam while taking my breaths.  I was ecstatic!  It was a major breakthrough for me, but now I was open to having her tell me what I can work on as far as technique.

I was pleasantly surprised when she said that I had the general idea down and that it would not make sense to spend a bunch of money on fine tuning my technique right now.  She said I needed to focus on making my kicks more “fluttery” because every so often, I am doing a bicycle kick.  I knew this already, but was glad she concurred.  She said my arms were fine and I had the general stroke down so there is little to work on there unless I was really going for perfection.  I told her I was not looking for perfection, I just wanted to finish.

She had me do a few more drills and let me know what I could do both in my home pool and in the city pool when I was able to go.  My biggest challenge is slowing down.  She said I should not be concerned with how quickly I get to the end of the lap, but with how much energy I have left when I get there.  That first swim left me rattled, so much so that I skipped swimming in the city pool this week, aside from this lesson.  It rained the day I was scheduled to swim, so that was as good an excuse as any but it was an excuse none the less.

This 30 minute lesson changed my outlook on so many things today.  It helped ease my mind, not only in being able to finish the swim by the time the triathlon is here, but it also helped me feel just a little more comfortable with talking to someone with expertise in things I am struggling with.  I left that lesson hopeful.  Hopeful that I would not only finish, but be able to do so with energy left to hit the bike and run hard and finish my first triathlon.  I am eager to do something I have not been eager to do since I started training…. get back in the pool.

What rattles you?  Have you ever had one on one expert advice?

When I purchased my membership to the city lap pool, I had visions of myself swimming lap after lap.  I decided to head over this evening and get a good 30 minutes or so in the pool. I wondered if it would be enough time.  When I got there, the pool was set up for 25 yard laps, not 50 like I had hoped.  Oh well, I can deal with “small” laps I thought, no biggie.  Sigh.

I got in and the sheer magnitude of the pool consumed me.  The other end looked way further away than it had before I got in.  Did someone convert the pool to 50 yards as I got in?  I mean there is no way only 25 yards looks that far…..  ok, shake it off.   I told myself I had done laps for 30 straight minutes in our own pool, so just because it’s further, doesn’t mean I can at least do the same amount of time.  I also decided that since I was not going to have anywhere to push off of for my triathlon, that I would not push off the wall either.  Off I went.  In my mind, I was a stealth seal gliding though the water.  I would be at the other end in no time.  Man, hope my Garmin can keep up with me.

As I reached about the halfway mark, I started to realize that I had lied to myself.  I have never truly done thirty straight minutes of laps!  I always took a moment here and there to just catch my breath.  I stopped and played around with D2 a few minutes.  Sure, I logged 30 in my app, but how much of that time was actually swimming.  Jesus, when will I get to the other end and bout fifty other things went through my mind.  I felt like Dory…. just keep swimming, just keep swimming, I told myself.

I knew the swim was going to be my triathlon arch nemesis.  I knew that I would be one of those people that might have to take second so that I would not have a panic attack.  I knew all that, but somewhere in my cocky mind, I thought I would overcome it, easily.

When I started running, I loved the reaction people gave when they would ask how far I ran that day.  “Oh, only 8 miles today,” I would say.  I knew that was nothing to brush off.  After all, I was someone that could not do a 5k without feeling like I could die.   That didn’t stop that little glimmer of joy I got at making light of 8 miles to someone.  Yes, it’s less than I have done in the past, but 8 miles is no small feat!  It’s an accomplishment and I think I was proud of that without wanting to look “too proud.”  Being proud of my own accomplishments is something I need to work on.  So, when I tell people that I am going to do a triathlon, I am beyond proud, but I am always sure to down play it for some reason.  I am quick to say “oh, but a baby one, not an ironman or something.  It’s short.  Just a quarter mike swim, like 10 miles on the bike and a 5k…. that’s all.”

I did six laps in that pool today, with resting in between it was about 17 minutes and  I wanted to crawl in a hole and sleep for hours.  Not just because I was tired, but because I felt defeated.  That is the equivalent of 150 yards.  In two months I need to swim 400 yards.  All the negative thoughts came pouring into my head, much like the water pours into my mouth with my current “breathing” technique during freestyle swimming.  The words “it’s just a quarter mile swim” will never be uttered by my mouth again.