Run

This week started off pretty well. I’ve been trying to make sure I immediately identify whenever I am starting to doubt myself and turn that thought into a single actionable item that can change it. For example, I realized that based on the conditions in the ocean at the time of the triathlon, I could be swimming either north or south bound. That poses a problem for me because as much as I cannot turn left, I only breathe to my left when swimming. Swimming in the ocean includes waves and well, if those waves are on my left, I won’t be able to breathe in that direction. I started to do my internal freak out but as soon as I realized it, I replaced those thoughts with one actionable item. In my next swim set, I will breathe to my right for at least half the set. As bad as it may be, as unbalanced as I will be and look, I will do that to help me start breathing to that side in case I need to. Negative thought squashed by positive action. I love it! Great start.

Tuesday I woke up feeling really lousy. I didn’t sleep well and had a sore throat, not good. I knew that after work I had committed to attend a Special Compass training session and I didn’t want to miss it. I decided not to train in the morning and save my energy. I took a ton of vitamin c and headed to work. I felt ok as the day went on and by the evening I was tired but my spirits were high that I would kick this cold’s butt and be on my merry way. I attended the Special Compass training session where we learned how to properly run with the larger running wheelchairs. The training was very helpful. I’ve only pushed once, but plan to attend as many events as I can. I got my team shirt and it was great seeing Jessika, Rey, Darren, Michael, Jim and all the new folks I met. I even met Sandy, the president of the Fort Lauderdale Triathlon Team, which I have now become a member of. Good end to the day for sure!

Again, sleep wasn’t great and I felt really lousy when I woke up on Wednesday. I was frustrated and tried to weigh out my options. I could train or I could rest. Training would make me feel good that morning, but rest might help me feel better the rest of the week. I knew I had the 5k Saturday so I told myself to let go of the expectations and just take it easy a few days. I knew I would not lose any fitness, but could certainly cause issues if I over did it. I kinda felt like I was over training the week before. Guess I was right because now I had a full blown cold. <>

Saturday’s race was for Kids in Distress and was called the Hero 5k. Everyone is encouraged to wear their best super hero costume or accessories. We purchased capes and masks directly from the organization to donate more. Darin was Captain American, D2 was Spiderman and I was Superman. I politely declined the glaring pink Supergirl stuff. I don’t really do pink and neither does the real Supergirl, but I digress. While I joined the Special Compass team for the run, they had more power buddies than needed so I was excited to run the race at whatever pace I thought I could sustain.

It was pretty chilly out (for Florida), about 50-55 degrees. Dare I dream that today would be the day I break the 30 minute 5k curse? No, dare not, I thought. We lined up right at the front, a first for me, so that the team was featured in the photos. When the start horn rang out, I headed off at a pretty good pace, comfortable enough but something I also knew was faster than my previous starts. Cooler weather is fantastic for running. Some of my best times have been on cool days, especially living in South Florida where it’s almost always warm and humid. I was passed by many racers and while part of me wanted to speed up because I was feeling good, I wanted this run to be about how I was feeling about my own performance, and not about what other people were doing. That was a first for me too. I settled in and just kept going. I checked my pace and that messed me up a bit, I think. I saw that I was running under a nine minute mile. My brain immediately went into disaster mode. That’s way too fast for me, I am going to burn up, I thought. I started to slow way down and told myself it probably would not be the day I would break the curse, so just take it easy. Then I realized what I was doing and snapped out of it. I pushed my speed back up a bit, but not quite to under nine minutes this time to ensure that I didn’t burn out either.

I began passing some of the folks that passed me earlier. I decided not to look at the mile marker clocks. I turned away so I didn’t know where I was in time. I wanted to just push myself at a pace I could sustain and see what the result was. There was a kid, maybe about D2’s age, that was totally killing it. He was about ten feet ahead of me when his cape went flying off and landed in the grass. He didn’t notice, so as I got close to it, I veered over and grabbed it. He realized it was gone a moment later and I told him I had it and handed it to him. He thanked me and I smiled. Two seconds later, I thought “oh crap, what if going over and getting that cape cost me my time?!” Then I thought, well that’s what super heroes do and I am dawning the S today, and chuckled to myself.

On the third and final mile I was feeling pretty good, so I started to increase my pace a bit. I started to ache a little in my leg, and those thoughts of just walking for a couple seconds, or the last half mile started to creep in. I mean I did still have a little cold, so why not just take it easy? I pictured myself slapping myself in the face. Wake up and suck it up buttercup! I needed that virtual slap. I maintained my pace. As I came around for the last tenth of a mile or so I could see the clock.…… “OMG, I am going to do this!”, I thought. Sure enough, I crossed the finish line at 29:35. The weather was perfect for running, the course was flat and I was feeling good, dare I say even confident. The stars aligned and I finally broke the curse!….. Or maybe it was the cape!

While that was amazing, and truly something I have been waiting for, it wasn’t even the best part. I really enjoyed the run, I enjoyed the internal banter and the fact that the positive side won. I am getting better at defeating those negative thoughts and that helps me see how much all the training is paying off. I never really gave myself credit for being physically fitter. I never allowed that to give me any confidence whatsoever. And while I know that the same exact race on a different day could lend a different result, on this day, I did it. I accomplished one of my big goals for 2017 and it’s still January! That doesn’t make me any more prepared for the tri in March, but for the first time, I am actually excited for it. I am starting to feel the fun again. I didn’t beat myself up (too much) for the missed training and I was able to enjoy myself again. That was the best part, and who knows what the next few months will bring.

I’m sure everyone has heard of the seven deadly sins. Well, this week there were five for me: Envy, Fear, Jealousy, Gluttony and Pride. I’d be being a bit dramatic to say they were deadly, though some felt that way at times. If you are at all impressed by the numbers in the photo above, so am I. No, I’m not tooting my own horn, those aren’t my numbers. To get the full story, we have to go back a bit. Not too far, just a few weeks ago.

Darin asked if I heard about the Vista View 360 Ultra Marathon. My response was something like “yeah, I got that email, why?” He told me he was thinking about signing up for it. I probably looked at him like he had three heads because I wear my reactions right on my face. He chuckled and I told him I didn’t pay much attention to the details. He filled me in. You can either do a relay with three other people, or just run as many laps you can as a single runner within the six hours allotted. Wow. Six hours, ok. I was a bit taken back, but he is so supportive of me and never blinks twice when I blurt out that I am doing race, how could I not support him? Ok, go for it. Sign up! I say. I reminded him a couple times and he went on my training runs with me but still was undecided. Then one day, he just signed up.

Guess we will start with Envy. I was totally envious of his willingness to jump in and sign up. I immediately wanted to sign up too. I am the runner in the family after all, right? No, this was his thing. I don’t want to sign up and then make it about me, I have enough races. He was so excited. We talked about how he would fuel, what he would bring and wear and about how many miles he might do. His longest training run was ten miles at this time. Ten. He talked about how cool it would be to hit a half marathon. Then, after a few training runs and seeing his time, he talked about how cool it would be if he got close to a full marathon distance. Or even maybe a 50k! I envy how he can think positive “what if’s.” All my what if scenarios usually involve my death by drowning or bike crash.

Saturday we decided to go for a bike ride. Darin asked where I wanted to ride to and I suggested the greenway. Greenway = safer than the streets and no major turns (sad, I know). He tells me that the greenway on the other side of Oakland had just been repaved and now goes through to Welleby park. While I was referring to the safe greenway that required no major intersections, he was being adventurous, as usual. I agreed and we headed off. Adventure is good. As per usual for me, fear sets in while I ride. I’m not sure exactly what my fear is. Eating it in the street is probably the top one. See, I don’t have the best balance and I have not been out riding much. Most of my work has been on the trainer building fitness more than function. At least I tell myself that. I thought I was safe when we got into Welleby but I was wrong. The path was full of little tight turns, hills and narrow spots to make a chicken like me cringe. My new cleats were not helping the matter and I had a few close calls with not being able to clip in or out in time. The whole time he kept encouraging me. I explained to him that I didn’t think he could relate to how hard it is to do something while the whole time you are afraid. He doesn’t know what that’s like, he has no fear when it comes to that kind of thing.

Our next stop is jealousy. I’m totally jealous of him! He is good at everything, without trying mind you. I train six days a week. He trains six days total before running a near marathon! I am exaggerating a little in the fact that he may have trained more than six days, but not by much. He has the balance of a trapeze artist on the bike, and just jumps into any challenge without flinching. He literally has no fear. I was totally jealous that of the two of us, he would run more than a half marathon first and I was totally jealous that he was participating in this race and I wasn’t. I’m jealous that he can think and speak positively of himself without looking like a smug jerk and I am jealous that he’s made of magic.

Needless to say, he did an amazing job. I’ll get to pride in a moment but first, let’s fast forward to gluttony. After a big race, I always treat myself to a little naughty food. For me, I crave eggs, bacon, hash browns and a big ol’ stack of pancakes. Then again, my races usually end sometime in the morning. After we were home and showered, I asked what he wanted for lunch. He chose Ale House, for a zinger mountain melt. Rightfully so, he just ran a near freaking marathon. In case you don’t know what a zinger mountain melt is, picture a big plate covered in french fries. Now cover those fries in cheese and bacon crumbles. Now cover that in like five chicken tenders covered in hot sauce. Put a side of blue cheese dressing on the plate and you have a zinger mountain melt. It’s what dreams and diabetes are made of. Yeah, I had one too. Nice to meet you, gluttony.

While I may envy him and be jealous of him, I am so proud of him. Today, he ran for six hours, he covered more than twenty five miles. I would not have been nearly as successful. That course was hard, probably the hardest I have seen in local races. I am usually thankful for Florida’s flat terrain, but not at Vista View. This was a trail run through mulch and gravel and chunked up grass. This was no flat, out and back. This was the same scenery lap after one and a quarter mile lap. This was a hell of a run. He was in pain and he was tired, but he never really complained. He was exhausted and I am sure wanted to quit on more than one occasion but he didn’t. He could have easily been grumpy, like I have been sometimes, but he wasn’t. He smiled at us, and thanked us for being there for him lap after lap. He was and is amazing and I could not be more proud of him.

Some of these “sins” of mine, I plan to avoid in the future. That mountain melt is not something I ever hope to eat again. There will be envy, there will be jealousy and unfortunately there will be fear. I will work to accept the fear, maybe one day conquer it. I am grateful for the opportunity to pay him back for the support he so readily gives me and the pride I felt when he crossed that finish line is something I welcome again and again.

So Possible´

Colds, Curses and Capes

My sins this week: Envy, Fear, Jealousy, Gluttony and Pride