As I mentioned in my post about the Halloween Half Marathon, I signed up for another. I officially decided that my goal is to complete a half marathon each month over the course of at least six months.  Right about now, you might be asking why the heck I would do such a thing.  I don’t blame you.  I may ask myself that very question during the course of this endeavor, but we shall see!  I really just felt like I needed something to work towards, something that would force me to push myself. 

My second one was the Orange Theory Half Marathon.  I was nervous the night before the race.  I was worried about the timing restriction.  The race required that the first 7 miles be done at a maximum of 13 minutes per mile.  That was a few seconds faster than I averaged at the last one, and I was hurting at that one.  At the same time, I was really excited for this one.  I tried my best to do everything right.  Even though it wasn’t a lot of time since the last one, I trained every single day.  I practiced eating before my long runs, and tried to make sure I stayed hydrated.  I was as prepared as I could be.  I won’t say I was supremely confident, but I felt pretty good about it.

A few days before the race, I was listening to my coach’s podcast.  His podcast partner Mike, mentioned a friend of his that was super excited to be training for his first half marathon.  He mentioned how he got into running later in his life and wasn’t fast but had just done some 5ks and a 10 miler recently.  He found joy in running.  I thought how he was a lot like me and listened on eager to hear the story.  Just then he mentioned that the unthinkable happened.  His friend fell off a ladder that was about two stories high.  He landed on his side, shattering his hip and doing damage to his spine.  Here he was getting ready to run his first half marathon one minute, and praying he would one day walk again the next. 

I don’t know why, but it just hit me.  I found myself in tears just thinking about this person and the strength it would take to just keep moving forward in life.  I don’t know if he has a family, but I thought about the impact his injury would have on everyone around him.  I have heard so many similar stories having worked with others like him, but his story just resonated with me for some reason.

I reached out to Mike and asked his friend’s name.  I also let him know that for whatever they are worth, my thoughts and prayers were for his friend.  I told him that if it was ok with him, I’d like to put his friend’s name on the inside of my bib and take him with me on this half.  Mike loved the idea.   On the back of my bib I wrote: For John and for being thankful. 

The morning of the race could not have gone better.  I woke up on time, I felt nervous but calm at the same time.  I had my coffee, my food and got ready.  We left on time, and found adequate parking when we arrived.  I was stoked.  We made our way towards the start line and I got in the very long line for the bathroom.  I waited and waited, not sure exactly how far from the actual start line we were.  It was about 5 minutes to start and there were still about 8 women in front of me.  I couldn’t wait any longer.  We headed for the start, which turned out to be two seconds from where we were.  Dang.  I could have waited and gone.  Oh well.

I have the worst bladder, so I was terrified that it was going to be a while before I could go.  Thankfully a little over a mile and a half in, I spotted someone coming out of a golf club building.  I took a quick detour and finally felt relief.   With that out of the way, I was able to focus on trying to keep pace.

I guess every runner has different preferences as to what they listen to when they run.  Some listen to music or podcasts.  Others don’t listen to anything at all and prefer to be with their own thoughts.  For training runs, I either listen to a podcast or listen to nothing.  For most races, I have always listened to music.  I have playlists with upbeat tunes to get me moving.  I wasn’t sure what I would listen to for this one.  In the Halloween half, the music annoyed me.  I decided  I would listen to my favorite book, The Obstacle is the Way.  I wasn’t sure how that would work out, but it ended up working great.  I could just tune it out when I went into deep thought, or I could listen to some amazing stoic philosophies and stories that made complaining about a run, silly.

For the first time in a long time, I had a great time during a race.  I was surprised at how the miles seemed to just pass by.  The course was awesome and the weather was perfect.  I had no major aches or pains by the time I approached the bridge and the turn around which had to be done in the time cutoff that I feared so much.  I planned to walk the bridge if needed, but didn’t have to.  Part of me was almost thinking I programmed my watch wrong, and maybe I was not going as quickly as I thought because there were so many people ahead of me.  I later realized that the not so fast people (me included) could not always make 3 hour cutoff and they probably didn’t attend.  I’m usually middle of the pack but this time I was almost concerned I’d be last! 

Once I knew I made the cutoff,  I thought to myself that I could slow down some.  But, then that little angel (or devil) of my coach popped onto my shoulder and said “what if you didn’t?”  So, I continued to push.  I began to struggle a bit around mile 10 and then I just reminded myself that the aches and pains would be over soon.  I thought of John off and on throughout the race.  I never thought things like “poor John” even though I do feel for him.  I tried to not use the thought of him in that way.  Instead, I thought things like “I am grateful for being able to do this.  I hope one day soon John will be able to run his half.”

I’ve never completed a race with so much gratitude in my heart and on my mind.  I was thrilled to cross the finish line 12 mins better than my best time!   I now had October and November in the bag.  The December race was literally around the corner. The following weekend.  Why did I do this again?

As I mentioned in my last post, I had signed up for a half marathon.  A couple months ago, I told my coach I felt like I needed something on the calendar.  I was looking for a nice 10k but there aren’t many of those and since I had fallen out of love with triathlon, it was either a 5k or half marathon.  To this point, the only half marathons I had done were Disney events.  I loved getting into character and the atmosphere was so relaxed.  It was all about having a great time, so I thought I’d do the same with the Halloween half.  Things were not the same.

I did everything wrong, and I am not being hard of myself.  I literally broke just about every cardinal rule in the book.  First off, I really did not train properly.  I missed some workouts and when I did get them done, some were admittedly “phoned in”.  I just didn’t try. 

What else did I do wrong?  Well, I bought a brand new pair of running shoes a few days before the race and had only run in them once.  Yes, I needed new shoes, but I should have broken them in before the event.  Know what else was new?  My entire outfit.  Two rules broken in my attire alone!  If you don’t run, you may be asking yourself what’s the harm in some new digs?  Well, new clothes can chafe, especially new unwashed clothes.  Yeah, I wore them right out of the Amazon package because they literally came in the day before the race.  Why you ask?  I originally told myself I was going to take the race seriously and not dress up, but I decided a few days beforehand that since I didn’t take the training seriously and there was no real time requirement, I would treat it like a Disney race and go full character mode.  Since I planned to wear my hydration pack, I thought it would be cute to go as Luke carrying Yoda on his back in Dagobah…. Seagulls, stop it now!  (Google it if you don’t know it, and you are welcome for the enrichment it will bring your life and our friendship.) . There I was, looking all monochrome quite literally from head to ankle.  The outfit is all tan. I am tan.  Didn’t really think that through, but oh well!

Those weren’t the only rules I broke.  I also broke one of the most important rules (besides train for the thing).  I didn’t eat.  Now, hear me out on this….  Since I run in the early morning hours, I pretty much never eat first.  That’s fine on a run up to an hour or so, but a half marathon, not so much.  I just wasn’t thinking.  The race started at 6:30 and was way down in Miami.  We had to leave not long after 4 and I didn’t plan ahead.  I know, it’s me!  How could I not plan ahead?!  I don’t know either, but about 5 minutes before the start my stomach was rumbling and I was already living in regret.

The race started and I got going.  I was in good spirits, until I started to think about how it would take me nearly 3 hours and the longest I’d run in months was like an hour and a half.  I felt drained and I hadn’t even completed mile 1.  I had plenty of water on me, and planned to drink whatever sports drink the race offered.  I also had with me a sports type drink that was going to be my magic fuel about halfway through.  As I passed the first mile and grabbed a cup, I saw Darin and D2 cheering me on!  I was so excited and my energy went up immediately.  I thought they had gone to eat as soon as the race started.  It meant so much to see them.  I chugged the sports drink and kept plugging on.  It didn’t taste great.  I am not sure if it was kiwi or something but it was a slightly familiar fake fruit taste.  Not long after, the burps started, and I knew that was the last of the sports drink I’d be having at this event.  I wasn’t sure I would keep from yarping it back up, but eventually things settled down.

The run was along the beach, which was nice since the sun was starting to rise. There was a bathroom with plumbing every half mile or so.  Plumbing is rare, so it was nice to think I didn’t have to use a port o let if I had to go.  I’m always terrified I will need to pee and not have a bathroom.  It felt good knowing there were so many, so I figured I’d go a little later when I felt the first urge at mile 4.  Little did I know the string of bathrooms would suddenly end and not be available to me again for another 4 miles.

Around mile 5, I decided I need my go go juice early, so I started sipping.  My hope was to get halfway, but I needed it.  At mile 8 I took a gel.  I hadn’t had a gel in probably a year.  I choked it down and knew that at least I had a few calories in me.  I knew it was too little, too late.  I was starting to bonk.

Another challenge, albeit not self inflicted, was the terrain.  A few miles of the race were on the boardwalk.  I’d never tried to run on the boardwalk.  It was very awkward.  Since we were running the length of the planks, I tried to keep my feet directly on the wood.  A couple times, it wobbled in the gap between the boards which sucked.  Not only that but there were hoards of people that were not in the race just strolling along. We had to dodge them and their dogs, and bikes and strollers. At mile 9, I hit a slick spot on a plank and almost busted my butt!  One leg went one way, the knee went the other.  I almost went down but somehow wriggled my way to staying upright.  I immediately began to walk the rest of the boardwalk.  I felt off from that point on.

At mile 11, the course was changed from years prior due to a different event going on and we had to run in the sand.  In. The. Sand.  That, I was not expecting.  It was fairly packed sand, but still sand, and it was undulating mounds.  It was about a half mile, so not horrible but not ideal.  Just before the finish line we had to go up hill and then I could finally see my boys again.  I got high fives just before the finish line, and then got one of the coolest medals (aside from my Star Wars collection).

I felt horrible and awesome all at the same time.  I was sore, and absolutely starving but really happy that I made it.  One of the things I was most happy about was that I reached my goal.  Not finishing the race, but my goal was to avoid negative talk.  I wasn’t 100% successful, but I was successful overall.  When I started to beat myself up about not eating, I tried to change it into listing what I learned from the mistake, rather than how many bad names I could call myself and how many curse words I could use to describe the situation.  When I started to feel those pains that come with not training hard enough, I did my best not to replay every missed or phoned in workout in my mind.  I tried to say things like, image how good I could feel if I trained more or trained better next time.  I think if I hadn’t focused on being more kind to myself and showing myself some grace, I would have quit before the half way mark.

I wish I could say that I learned a lot from this race.  I didn’t learn anything I didn’t already know.  What I did get was valuable reminders.  I got reminded of how important training and fueling my body for these events is.  I got reminded that I have an amazing support system willing to sit in the sun for hours and cheer me on because they love me.  I got reminded of times not long ago when I didn’t beat myself down, but rather do what I could to pick myself up and keep moving.  I also got reminded that new clothes chafe and you don’t know you chafed until you get in the shower and scream out loud like a little girl.

Do you know what else I was also reminded of?  How much hard stuff makes me want more of it.  My next half is in three weeks.