Life

Life, Run

Sorry Charming, it will always be Dopey!

It was time for the annual Spooktacular 5k!  Last year, the boys and I dressed as pirates.  This year, D2 didn’t want to go to the run, so he hung out with his cousin.  Darin and I took some time to figure out what we were gonna be about a month ago.  We were trying to think of a couples costume where the guy was bald, because running in a wig just didn’t seem appealing to either of us.  We had narrowed it down to Gru from Despicable Me and the lipstick tazer lady (can’t remember her name) and Snow White and Dopey.  Why not prince Charming?  Well, he’s kinda lame and nothing beats that moment when Snow kisses Dopey on his bald head.  In the end, we decided on Snow White and Dopey.

I’m not the girliest of girls and was a little unsure I could pull off a run in a dress, let alone a tutu, but hey, it’s a Halloween run.  Don’t get me wrong, I see lots of ladies running in tutus and I think they are adorable, it has just never been me.  I decided that for Snow White, it was going to be a tutu.  I’ve done a few costume runs and for me, the costume has to start with a running outfit as a base.  I can’t stand that “costume” fabric used in most commercial costumes against my skin in general and definitely not in a run.  For my costume, I ordered an under armour tank that was moisture wicking and wore running shorts as my base.  I made all the elements like the shoulders and cape easily detachable should they feel like they were chafing or annoying me in any way.  Much to my surprise, I didn’t have to remove anything on the run.  For Darin’s costume, I ordered a brooks long sleeve tech shirt in a larger size than he needed to give that Dopey look.  He work a base layer of shorts and some large fisherman pants on top, which were also easily removable if they got in the way.  We added some accessories (also removable) and I sewed together a quick dwarf style hat.  Other than taking the hat off for a bit, he didn’t have to remove any parts of the costume either thankfully.

It was a rainy morning, but we took it all in stride.  It was a huge relief for me not to be worried about making a specific time or pace.  I just wanted to have a great time and enjoy all the costumes and a great run.  I told Darin we could just take it easy or run at whatever pace he wanted to run.  He said he wanted to try to run the entire thing, with no walk breaks.  He’s done great times with the walk/run method, but hadn’t really done one in which he never took a walk break, not even at the water station.  So, that became the goal of the run, to go at a comfortable enough pace that he could run the entire time without stopping. We set off among all the great costumes and people that always make this event a blast.

The run was great, we took it easy when needed and pushed a little here and there but with no goal in mind other than running and enjoying ourselves.  I pushed out of my comfort zone by shouting “great costume!” whenever I passed someone who really put thought and effort into theirs.  I also commented on the kids costumes, and loved seeing them smile when acknowledged.  It was a great run.  Darin accomplished his goal of running the whole thing in its entirety.  I accomplished my goal of not trying to worry about time and training and just have a good time.  I stopped to reflect on how thankful I am for those moments where the training is not priority, but feeling good, feeling loved and have a great time is.  And while life is no fairy tale, you can work hard to make your dreams come true!  Happy Halloween!!!

Life

Before this blog, I shared very little with people, even people I am close to.  It’s funny because I find it very painful to think that people I know are reading it, but the whole point was to get out of my comfort zone and I promised to be brutally honest in the process.  I’m starting to get used to the idea that this thing is out there for whomever to see.  A coworker found it and told me, of course I was mortified, but I accepted that possibility when I launched it.  I still find myself a bit reserved sometimes and I really don’t want that.  Sharing is helping me in so many ways.  When I write a post, I try to do it from the heart, and that has really shown me how hard I can be on myself.  That is something I really need to change , but it’s a slow process.

The other day I was doing a weight training workout and was really working hard.  I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and smiled.  I felt really proud of the weight I was lifting and how strong I felt.  I got my phone and took a picture, just for me, and then I thought “I’m gonna post this on instagram… I get inspired when I see pics like this.”  I started to post it and immediately stopped.  I started having all these negative thoughts.  Is posting the photo being boastful?  Will people think I’m trying to say I look SO good, even though I know I have a long way to go?  Will people think I am looking for a bunch of responses telling me how great I look?  If I do this, am I a selfie away from being a Kardashian?  (You get the idea).

So many people in the fitness world post photos of their workouts and selfies at the gym.  I started thinking about those people.  Some, I am inspired by, others I feel are just  bragging, or attention seekers, or trying to push the latest fad diet product.  I told Darin how I felt and he said to post it.  He was right.  If I am going to share this journey, they I should share all of it.    So, I posted my first workout selfie.  It was scary, but once it was done there was no going back.  My comment was something like “learning to love and share what I worked so hard for.”  It’s a very true statement.   It made me think about those people who post their photos.  It made me realize that I have been very judgmental in my assumptions that some of them are posting them to boast.  Maybe some of them really are just like me, working hard and proud of it.  Maybe some of them are uncomfortable with posting the pics but putting themselves out there in the hopes that someone gets inspired.  Maybe they are jerks and being showy.  The point is, I don’t know them anymore than they know me, and the people that I care about know that my pride is the right kind.

I am glad I posted it, but I’m still a little cautious as to where the line is between being proud and sharing accomplishments in the hope that it inspires others, to becoming boastful and proud in a negative way.  I hope to have the courage to post more, because I AM proud of myself.  I’m proud that 6 days a week I get up and work hard to achieve my fitness goals.  I’m proud that 7days a week I work hard at my job, trying to eat right and be the best wife a mom I can be.  I have an amazing family and friends.  I’m so proud to be in their lives each day.  And yes, I am proud of my little “guns” because it took a long time to finally look at a photo of myself and really feel genuinely good about what I saw.