Bike

Bike, Life

When your gut tells you not to….

Do you listen?  Most of the time, I do.  I have always “gone with  my gut” when I could not make a decision based on research.  I always listen to my gut when I am deciding how I feel about people.  Where I have trouble is with my training.  Sometimes, I am not sure if it is my gut, or if it’s my lazy subconscious telling me not to work out that day.

Whenever I feel unsure about working out, I start with baby steps.  I set my first goal as to simply get my workout clothes on.  Once I achieve that, then I tell myself to just get out the door.  Then, it’s maybe just run one mile and then reassess or go a quick three miles on the bike and see how I feel then.  That usually gets me moving enough that I don’t have convince myself to continue and I finish the scheduled workout.  A body in motion stays in motion, they say.

The other morning was a little different.  I was up and ready to go, excited to do my ten mile bike ride.  The moment I started to walk out the door, I got this really sinking feeling…. and I was actually scared.  I’ve only been really scared once on a run, and that was due to a super creepy guy on the greenway in a section where I had no where to go if something went down.  Other than that, for the most part I am comfortable heading out the door in the dark on my own.

I am always careful.  I always make sure I scan around in the distance so I know what to expect.  It could be a fellow runner or cyclist headed my way that may need to pass or someone walking dogs ahead (for which I always slow down to ensure the dogs see me too).  I am very much aware that there is a certain danger in being out there alone.  I don’t believe that the possibility that something bad could happen does not exist… but, while I may lack confidence in other things I do know that if faced with the need to fight, I will.  I’m not saying I have super abilities or have been trained in such a way that I know I could win any fight.  I am simply saying that I will fight with everything I have to get out of any situation in which there is possible harm and if that means I am forced to harm someone else, I will.

Leaving that morning was different.  It was not elevated cautiousness, which I have felt before.  It was actual fright for some reason.  I told myself it was just part of me not wanting to go and at least get a couple miles in.  See how I felt once I hit the greenway, I told myself.  I headed out the door and to the greenway.  Once I got onto the greenway, I reassessed.  Still felt scared.  I told myself to just ride to Sunrise.  Still felt scared.  I told myself to just get to Broward.  Still felt scared.   When I took a second to reassess in that moment, I realized that I was really not doing well.  Yes, I was getting the miles in, but with horrible form!  My heart rate was more elevated, I was not keeping form or pace.  I was constantly looking around, almost in a panic and my body was so tense!

I had done four miles at this point, and had another four to do if I turned back at that moment.  One more mile, and I would end up completing my goal of ten, but I decided that after all this if I was still feeling this way I would turn around.  I made a u-turn (it was a right turn, still need to work on those lefts!) and headed home.  I immediately felt like I was doing the right thing, which set me at ease bit I still felt scared for some reason.  I got close to home and thought about doing two more miles because I don’t like not reaching a goal, but decided not to.

I cannot describe the sense of relief I felt when I got to my driveway.  What would have happened if I had continued, and completed those extra miles?  I have no idea, but I do know that not doing those two miles did not hurt my training in any way.  I do know that only my pride is hurt but not doing those two miles.  And I do know that I made it home safe and hugged my boys hard that morning.  I trust my gut and I feel very grateful that, while it may have taken some time, I eventually listed to it.

Do you ever have to take small steps to motivate yourself into doing something?  Have you ever had to change plans because something was just not right?  Share your story below.  Until next time!

Bike, Swim

I’m not an Ambi-Turner!

If you have seen the movie Zoolander, you know what I am referring to.  If you haven’t… for shame!  It’s one of the best “dumb” comedies.  The movie mocks the modeling industry with an emphasis on the thought that models are dim witted fools.  Derek Zoolander is the main character who always does the same expression, but people go nuts over it (similar to a Kardashian selfie duck face).  Anyway, in the movie he reveals that he is not an “ambi-turner.”  He can only turn right on the runway, never left  (I am sure by my description, if you had not already seen it you are out there trying to find it on Netflix right now! Sarcasm, because as I write this, I realize how horrible this movie sounds, but I digress.)

I have come to realize that I am like Zoolander in that I have issues with things like turning left or getting my breathing to go with my swim stroke.  It really makes me feel like an idiot.  I mean, I can control my body to push past pain and keep digging deep, but I can’t turn my bike left without freaking out.  I ride on the greenway as a way to start being comfortable with speed and not have to worry about traffic.  When I get to the end, there is a nice circle to turn around in and I always, always go right.  I also realized that the entire span of my ride, no matter how long, has consisted of only right turns!!

As if that is not enough, apparently I am not an “ambi-breather” either!  Last night I went in the pool to practice my new amazing ability to take a breath while swimming and low and behold, I can’t do it right…. Again!  I am coming to realize that there is something to this muscle memory thing and that the only way I will get better is by practicing.  I spent the next 15 minutes face down in the pool holding the wall (like the little kiddie class does) and simply turning my head left, taking a breath, then right, a breath and repeat.

I decided I should be able to breathe after that, so I headed off into a lap.  As soon as I started to try to put it all together, it fell apart again.  I realized that I am letting my brain get in the way.  I am trying to think about making sure my breathing happens.  I am trying to think about my kicks being correct.  I am trying to think about my stroke and pull being right.  I am trying to think about the water getting in my goggles and ways to get them to stay  on right.  I am thinking, way too much!  I’m causing my own body to get confused by my mind.

Back to the drawing board I went.  Face down in the pool, turning to breath again.  I realized that the entire time I am assessing my breath, counting and making sure I exhale properly.  I have to stop over thinking.  Once I can breathe that way and not think about it, I will add kicks to the mix.  Once I can add kicks and not think about it, I’ll worry about the strokes.  It’s going to be challenging and will take a lot not to frustrate myself, but I am determined to make it to the end of that triathlon in September.

I have a pretty solid plan for the pool, but back to the bike.  I always unclip from my “clip-less” pedals (who thought of that name?) with my right foot.  My right foot is my rock, my stop pal and the foot I lean on naturally when on the bike.  I know that in a pinch, I can get that foot out without issue and plant it firmly on the ground.  That could be why I cringe at the thought of turning left.  Maybe it’s the grand scheme of being on the bike in the road, and right turns are safer.  I don’t know, but I have to figure it out.  I did achieve one small goal.  I turned left on the greenway….once.  Baby steps, baby steps.  My next ride will be left turn and adventure filled!  Stay tuned!….